Adoption: Some History
Do you know of adoption as an option? Did it come to mind when you learned of your crisis? I doubt it. In an unplanned pregnancy you don’t think clearly at first. I’m sure you thought of other options. Abortion. Parenting. This isn’t your fault. Probably no one has educated you about adoption. You may not have had to educate yourself about it. Let’s go back into the past a little. Years ago, society shrouded adoptions in secrecy and shame. A code of silence was imposed on the birthparents and the adoptive parents. So it was tough for the child to get info about her origins. Society stigmatized the birth mom as abandoning her her child. She was “giving him away.” Birth moms endured stigma, scorn and loneliness. They often had to carry lifelong secrets. The media rarely depict adoption with accuracy. “Madam X” was an example of what the code of silence does to those in adoptions. I watched it many years ago. I remember it to this day! When do adoptive parents get media coverage? Usually, the media cover these parents in rare cases. That’s when such parents commit crimes against children.
Adoption: Advantages for You and Your Baby
Society still sees adoption as “giving away your baby.” Releasing your baby to affluent strangers? How can you release a baby you carried in your body, to strangers? Frankly, it seems easier to abort a baby you haven’t met. In parenting, at least you get to see your child grow up. But adoption? However, today more women choose this option for their babies. Pregnancy resource centers (PRCs) deserve credit for this. Improved adoption laws have created “open adoption.” This is where birth moms can maintain ties with the adoptive parents and her baby. These ties exist on a spectrum. It depends on terms the two sets of parents agree on. The birth mom gets to choose parents for her baby. PRCs try to educate their clients about this option. It costs much money to adopt a child. Such parents must submit to much screening. They normally really want children enough to do these things. Many of them can’t have children of their own. They’re desperate to adopt. You can bless them greatly. And you can bless your child with a loving home. She’ll grow up loved and wanted. In most cases, such homes are good, loving homes. It’s the exceptions that make the news.
Considering Adoption? Making It Work
Are you considering adoption? It may be the best option for you and your baby. You may not have the support to raise your child. You may not want to raise this child. If you conceived her in rape, adoption may be the best option. Yes, it’s a sacrifice for you. You’ll suffer the painful loss of your child.All the time, you’ll know your baby is alive and with someone else. They’re her mom and dad. You become the stranger. You may re-unite with her one day. But it won’t be the same. You’ll be no more than a close friend to her. You can make this sacrifice. Far from deserting your child, you’re doing the most loving thing for her. Also, the adoptive parents will pay for your expenses. They’ll respect your sacrifice and courage. Choosing adoption is painful. But it’s a good pain. It brings no guilt or regret.
Below are resources where you can find help.
Safe Haven Baby Boxes Want to secretly surrender your newborn, no questions asked? You can! She’ll find a loving adoptive home. Find out more here!
Bethany Christian Services They help moms who want to make adoption plans for their babies.
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This photo is by the University of Toronto Students. It’s licensed under Creative Commons BY-SA 2.0.